Now, that's what I call a sharpshooter. And it's one more reason to lament the inevitable passing of the newspaper's print edition.

After all, whenever e-reporters on deadline create an e-double entendre, they can correct it online before most readers can enjoy it; to wit, Officer shoots knife-wielding man.

Of course, we could probably retrieve the e-original from the NSA (Never Say Anything) -- which brings me to another insight. As long as the agency is going to gobble up our communications, shouldn't we have access to the files, say, for CYA purposes?

For example:

Dear NSA,

Do you have a record of a call my boss claims to have placed at a certain time on a certain date?

Do you have the email wherein I made now-forgotten promises to my spouse?

Do you have the name of my first pet?

If the spooks are really doing all of this for our own good as they claim, this is one way to prove it.

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Now that I think of it, the shoots with knife writer just may have been having fun with the headline. In the same spirit, here's a headline that I'd love to use. It would top the report of a small arsonist disguised as a cub scout who set fire to an abandoned town:

He fakes a child to raze a village.

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Finally, if anyone is still reading, here's the latest version of our song celebrating the --

Cleveland Foundation Centennial

In the seventh month of Christmas my CF gave to me

A CON-cert at Blossom

TRI-C JAZZ a-playin'

WADE O-VAL FREE

A day at-the-zoo

And-the-film fest

TWO North-Coast-tickets

And a RIDE on-the R-T-A