From the North Coast to the South Beach

Never mind that he hasn't grown beyond the teenager's flat monotone. (With his millions, could he spend a few thousand on a voice coach?) LeBron delivered the largest statement of his career as an aside: "Well, I guess I'll be going to South Beach." C'mon, if you don't want to go to college, at least audit Speech 101.

Besides, wait until he meets some of the residents in South Florida (at left).

In fact, other critters like pythons and lizards have been known to show up in the plumbing. Wait until the King sits on his new throne.

And does he know his new team has a nickname that sounds like the beginning of a Dominion Gas commercial?