Tuesday, June 15, 2010

'And never is heard a discouraging word ....'

'... And the bloggers are silent all day.'

Once again the President could have avoided a lot of PR fallout if he had consulted with me: "Mike, what can I say to show everyone how angry I am over this oil spill?"

"Mr. President," I would have advised, "It's not only what you say but how you say it. Most people can convey seriousness, even anger, by slowing down their presentation and speaking very deliberately.

"You, however, nearly always speak slowly and deliberately so instead you may want to speak with increasing speed and with your voice rising in volume. As I've said before, change of pace can convey one's feelings as effectively as any words, even swear words.

"To wit, 'ass.' As swear words go, it's pretty lame and not worth your trouble. 'Dead ass' or 'sorry ass' would have been a little more hip at least but, again, also superfluous.

"Besides, as some New York columnist once wrote (paraphrasing here), if you're going to say 'ass' in front of a lady, what do you say when you get a flat tire on the upper level of the George Washington bridge during rush hour?"

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