Friday, February 19, 2010

More 'Things We Don't Need'

The celebrity apology has become so commonplace as to require its own category in the study of speech communication - somewhere between impromptu and extemporaneous. Accordingly, one might expect this blog-on-most-things-spoken to deal with the latest mea maxima culpa - that of one Tiger Woods.

Except that I don't give a busted sand wedge.

Don't get me wrong. I have as much empathy for him as I do for anyone who finds oneself in crisis, even one of one's own making. (The lengths we go through to avoid the gender problem!)

It's just that the only thing about any Famous Persons that might draw my fleeting attention is whatever made them famous in the first place. I could care less about what they do after they shower (or while they shower, for that matter). The only time I might pay any heed to how Tiger strays from the straight and narrow is when he does it on the tee.

Frankly, even in the context of golf, Tiger is merely of passing interest. I haven't played the game since I completed my 12-step program about 20 years ago.

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While I'm on the subject of Things We Don't Need, let me touch on another timely example: the report that ranks counties on how various factors affect the health of their residents.

Unfortunately I'm afraid one of the primary outcomes of this kind of official branding will be a further denigration of the low-ranking counties -- like mine, Crooked River. Besides, did we need a study to find out that money and status affect one's health? What's next, research that shows proximity to the lake tends to produce higher humidity?

But then, the faithful reader of this blog (you know who you are) will recall my earlier rants on this kind of thing.

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