So this guy walks into Congress and ....

I may be too late, Mr. President -- and you seem to have done okay without following my advice up to now -- but I have a suggestion for your address to the joint session of Congress tonight.

Warm 'em up so they'll be more receptive to your message. It's hard to smile and boo at the same time. So you could begin your address with something like this:

This is a new view of Congress for me. No wonder when they stand up here presidents always seem so serious -- frightened, even. As I look out over the American people's penultimate decision makers, I am filled with hope: I hope the people knew what they were doing! From this angle I think Ralph Nader may be right: You really can't tell the difference between Democrats and Republicans.

Congress may not be a comedy club, Mr. O. But anyone who watches enough C-Span knows it's good for a few yuks.