Our tax dollars at play

So we think spending million$ on the Browns' stadium is a waste because it won't help improve the product on the field? How wrong can we be.

The proposed improvements include larger scoreboards, faster escalators and a better sound system, all crucial to improved play:

⦁ Larger scoreboards will be easier to see especially for those older Brownies, so they'll know how far behind they are and how much time they have to catch up. (All the delay-of-game penalties? They're squinting at those tiny old boards!)

⦁ Faster escalators will enable the hundreds of fans who stumble over from their tailgate parties to get there sooner and swell the crowd noise -- at least until they leave mid-third quarter. (Oops. They'll leave faster, too. Note to staff: Turn off escalators at halftime.)

⦁ A better sound system will incentivize players (see negative posting on "incent") to ever more spectacular individual effort -- so they can hear their names reverberate from Public Square to Whiskey Island.

Let's be honest. All of that money goes right to the bottom line -- and the final score.