'Turn right at the next synapse ....'

It's an exciting prospect, the President's initiative to map the brain. Once that's done we can load the data into our Garmin and we'll be all set.

I can hear that cyber voice already:

Here comes your boss's spouse, whose name you'll find in your memory center. Stick a finger in each ear as far as you can and wiggle them.

It's time to call your pharmacy and order your medicine. To pronounce it scratch the back of your head with both hands.

Your shoelace is untied again. To jump start your small motor skills, rap on your bald spot with your knuckles - hard.