Once more ... Writing for the Ear

If I were a corporation, this is probably the way I would explain the time that has elapsed since my last posting on this blog:

Statement

This blog provides essential, entertaining and educational information to our readers and we remain committed to maintaining its timeliness and quality. To ensure its enduring value we have been conducting a thorough evaluation of content.

Except that I would be guilty of one of those PR Cliches I've held up for ridicule. The truth is that as I contemplated all of the words our ears will hear from our 24/7 presidential campaign, I found it increasingly difficult to comment on any of them.

But one day I am sitting in the outpatient's chair as the Mohs surgeon, scalpel in hand, removes pre-cancerous basal cells from a spot on my temple about an inch from my eye – and he gets the hiccups.

He finished the job with no problem – you can't even see the spot he worked on – but the experience reminded me how fragile we are and how short the time is. So once again into the fray ....

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Can't you just see it? 007 walks into a casino, gorgeous co-star on his arm, shaken-not-stirred martini in his hand – and basketball shoes on his feet.

Bond's not there to play baccarat but to shoot foul shots. That's just one of the new games of skill casinos may be introducing in a never-ending search for money – our money. The video game is another.

Why stop there? How about pitching pennies? Rock-scissors-paper? The coin flip? Hide-and-seek? Charades?

Maybe I'm just less risk-averse now.

Testing one's resolve in 2015

To be honest, I’ve always found new year’s resolutions frustrating. I hardly ever follow through on any and, if I do, it's usually a resolution I made several years before. Take 1962, for example, when I resolved not to let that big kid at school intimidate me anymore. A decade or so later I ran into him and was pleased to discover I had grown quite a bit after he stopped. Resolution: check.

This year I have a better idea. I'm going to make resolutions – for other people. For example –

For Terry Gross, host of Fresh Air on National Public Radio: resolved, to avoid giving the full background on her guest at the beginning, end and often in the middle of each and every segment. If you're just joining us, my guest is journalist and author Joe Fabeetz, who just came out with a book entitled ... And on and on. What? Latecomers can't hang around long enough to figure it out? Too bad.

For producers of NPR programs who use music to break up content (I believe they’re called spacers): resolved, to avoid selections that are so discordant, repetitive or irritating they cause me to turn off the radio – after which I forget to turn it back on and miss the rest of the program. Even another pitch for listener support might be more welcome.

And, while I'm on music, another one for the NPR producers: resolved, to take a couple minutes out of those lengthy musician interviews and play at least one of the artist's songs for more than 10 seconds – or even all the way through. I'd gladly forego some of the minutiae, like how that first recording session went or when I really knew music might be a career.

Hmm. Looking at those resolutions, maybe I do have one of my own: resolved, to expand my listening choices a little.

Cleveland Foundation crowns Centennial Jubilee with 12th Month of Christmas

The Cleveland Foundation (CF) will sponsor a Day of Family Fun on Tuesday, Dec. 30, with a variety of healthy activities at more than three dozen sites in six counties. The foundation's gift to Greater Cleveland caps its Centennial celebration – and it also completes our song:

In the 12th month of Christmas my CF gave to me

FAMILY Fun all O-ver

A DAY of the-A-ter

HOLDEN and Lake's FARM PARK

CRUISES on the GOODTIME

CLASSIC movie SCREENINGS

A CON-cert at BLOSSOM

TRI-C jazz a-PLAYIN'

WADE O-val FREE

A TRIP TO-the-ZOO

SEATS at the FILM FEST

TWO North-Coast-TICKETS and

A RIDE on-the R-T-A

This year the word is 'vape' – next year how about 'pute?'

I'm always touting the value of being succinct in written or spoken communication, so I should note the recent announcement by the Oxford Dictionaries of its Word of the Year:

vape – verb, to inhale and exhale the vapor produced by an electronic cigarette or similar device; also, a noun describing that activity and even the e-cigarette itself.

Other finalists included –

bae – noun, a term of endearment for one’s romantic partner.

budtender – noun, a person whose job is to serve customers in a cannabis dispensary or shop.

normcore – noun, a trend in which ordinary, unfashionable clothing is worn as a deliberate fashion statement.

Just look at how you can use these words to communicate paragraphs of material in one sentence:

The budtender, sporting that normcore look, told me and my bae he didn’t have any vapes.

Another year-end tradition – making predictions. Here are a few of my own:

Prediction No. 1

Expanding on his contention that there are no Russian troops in Ukraine, Alexander Putin will deny that he has any army at all. "So some people like to dress up as soldiers and marching around? I don't have say over what they do in spare time. It's like Americans you see in Civil War uniform. Means you have Confederate Army?"

Prediction No. 2

After establishing teams in England, Germany and Croatia, the NFL will apply for membership in NATO, which will lead to counter maneuvers by Putin's non-army.

Prediction No. 3

A finalist for Word of the Year in 2015 will be: pute. Up to now the Latin origin of the word has meant "pure, unadulterated," but it will acquire a new meaning as a verb, "to make statements that fly in the face of reality," and a noun describing such a statement, as in, "There he goes again – another pute."

Our penultimate Cleveland Foundation Centennial gift ...

. . . and our penultimate 12 Days of Christmas verse:

In the 11th month of Christmas my CF gave to me

A DAY of the-A-ter

HOLDEN and Lake's FARM PARK

CRUISES on the GOODTIME

CLASSIC movie SCREENINGS

A CON-cert at BLOSSOM

TRI-C jazz a-PLAYIN'

WADE O-val FREE

A day AT-the-zoo

AND-the-film FEST

TWO North-Coast-tickets

And a RIDE on-the R-T-A

'Pay no attention to the person behind the curtain – er, whiteboard'

Have you seen the latest trend in conference presentations? As the speaker holds forth from the podium, a graphic recorder interprets the message with drawings and other visual elements on a whiteboard off to the side.

Now, I wouldn't want to deny your average struggling artist a paying gig, but my problem with the technique is the same as the one I have with the Powerpoint: rather than focusing attention on the speaker, we risk distracting the audience. There's less of a chance of this if the whiteboard is turned so the audience can't see what the artist is drawing, but it might be better not seeing the artist at all.

Frankly, if the whiteboard commentary offers a benefit to the speaker, it is afterward. The visual summary could reinforce the message for audience members and also show passing conferees what they missed. In fact, after thanking the speaker, the conference host could invite the artist – I mean, graphic recorder – to roll out the whiteboard and take a bow.

For speaker and artist it's a win-win.

Once more from the Cleveland Foundation Centennial ...

In the 10th month of Christmas my CF gave to me

HOLDEN and Lake's FARM PARK

CRUISES on the GOODTIME

CLASSIC movie SCREENINGS

A CON-cert at BLOSSOM

TRI-C jazz a-PLAYIN'

WADE O-VAL FREE

A day AT-the-zoo

AND-the-film FEST

TWO North-Coast-tickets

And a RIDE on-the R-T-A